Imagine you’re helping someone navigate a challenge. Do you guide them gently, encouraging reflection and exploration? Or do you step in with clear, actionable advice? The answer depends on more than just the situation—it depends on understanding the delicate balance between offering direction and giving directives.
In coaching, leadership, and everyday communication, this balance is critical. Used effectively, directions and directives can empower others to grow and take action. Misused, they can stifle progress or erode trust. The secret lies in knowing which approach to use, when to use it, and how to deliver it with empathy and impact.
Let’s explore the art of balancing direction and directives, why both are essential, and how mastering this skill can transform your coaching and communication.
What Are Directions and Directives?
Think of directions and directives as two sides of the same coin:
- Directions: Collaborative and empowering, directions help others explore their thoughts, values, and motivations. You guide, but they decide.
- Directives: Clear and actionable, directives involve providing explicit instructions. You lead, but with care and intention.
While directions inspire ownership and reflection, directives offer clarity and momentum. Both have their place, and the key is discerning which serves the moment best.
When to Offer Directions
Directions work best when someone is exploring options, grappling with ambivalence, or seeking clarity. They encourage ownership of the process and foster long-term growth.
Scenario 1: A Client Struggles with Consistency
Client: “I just can’t stick to a fitness routine.”
Direction: “It sounds like staying consistent has been challenging. What’s worked for you in the past, and what feels like the biggest obstacle now?”
Why It Works: This approach invites self-reflection and builds confidence in their ability to generate solutions.
Scenario 2: A Team Member Feels Overwhelmed
Team Member: “I don’t know how to handle my workload.”
Direction: “Let’s look at your tasks together. Which ones feel most urgent, and how might we organize them to make things more manageable?”
Why It Works: Collaboration supports problem-solving without taking control of the decision-making.
The Power of Directions
Directions respect autonomy, empower individuals to discover their own answers, and create deeper commitment to change. They’re not about telling someone what to do—they’re about helping them figure out what’s right for them.
When to Use Directives
Directives are essential in moments requiring clarity, urgency, or safety. They provide actionable guidance that helps others move forward quickly and effectively.
Scenario 1: A Client Asks for Specific Advice
Client: “I don’t know where to start. Just tell me what to do.”
Directive: “A great first step might be creating a specific morning routine to set the tone for your day. Let’s outline one together.”
Why It Works: This directive jumpstarts progress while still involving the client’s input.
Scenario 2: A Leader Addresses a Project Delay
Leader: “The report needs to be finished by tomorrow.”
Directive: “To meet our deadline, focus exclusively on completing the report by end of day. Let’s revisit your other tasks after that.”
Why It Works: This directive provides clarity and ensures immediate action while maintaining a respectful tone.
The Power of Directives
Directives are transformational when used sparingly and with care. They offer clarity, momentum, and solutions in moments when guidance alone may not be enough.
When to Avoid Directives
While directives have their place, overusing them can lead to resistance, dependence, or diminished trust. Avoid directives in these situations:
- When someone isn’t ready to take action: Pushing too soon can create defensiveness.
- When they can find their own solution: Jumping in robs them of the opportunity to learn and grow.
- When the goal is long-term growth: Over-reliance on directives can stifle creativity and self-reliance.
Instead, opt for open-ended questions, active listening, and collaborative problem-solving.
The Secret Ingredient: Asking Permission
Even when directives are necessary, how you deliver them matters. Asking for permission can turn a directive into a collaborative moment.
Example:
- Instead of: “You need to set boundaries with your colleagues.”
- Try: “Would it be helpful if I shared some strategies others have used to set boundaries effectively?”
This simple adjustment fosters respect and increases the likelihood that the directive will be embraced.
Bringing Directions and Directives Into Everyday Life
Balancing directions and directives isn’t just for coaching—it’s a skill that can elevate any relationship:
- With Family: Help loved ones reflect on their goals while offering guidance when appropriate.
- At Work: Support colleagues by empowering their decisions while stepping in with directives during high-stakes moments.
- In Friendships: Foster trust by listening deeply and offering advice only when invited.
When used thoughtfully, directions and directives can inspire self-reflection, build confidence, and create meaningful change.
Finding the Right Balance
Mastering the art of balancing directions and directives is about more than just communication—it’s about connection. Directions invite exploration and empowerment, while directives offer clarity and momentum. Both approaches have their place, and the real power lies in knowing when and how to use each.
Take a moment to reflect: In your next interaction, could you guide with a question rather than an answer? Or offer a well-timed directive to help someone move forward?
By embracing this balance, you’ll not only guide others more effectively—you’ll inspire them to grow.
Here’s to meaningful conversations and lasting transformation,
Jonathan Milton Keim
Chief Business Officer, Robbins Madanes Training
